I have not loved motherhood the past few days. I love Austen. Lots and lots. However, her complete disregard for sleep has really begun to wear on me.
It occurred to me how far on this journey we have come when I ran into the worlds cutest pre go lady today on my walk. Ohmygosh. You should have seen her and her little basketball belly. When she said she had just 3 weeks left (yep. I stopped her and tried to make her be my best friend because she was that great) I seriously wanted to hug her an tell her to go home and take a nap. Because, I remember those days. When I would stretch a cute little tank top over my swollen bump and walk the dog so people could see me in my motherly glory (or, seeing how Austen was born in august, in my motherly sweat). Tonight, I was walking the dog in the same leggings I wore yesterday while pushing my 9 month old all over the neighborhood attempting to wear her out. I felt my face get all red and stingy when I noticed her noticing the green beans smushed on my pants.
You guys know our issues with sleep. Add to that the fact that Chad has literally become a slave to the restaurant this week (shout out to Mindy Houston whose baby daddy has also been swept up the chaos…the end is near!) and that we are deep in the throws of the “mommy attached” stage and I find myself trying to rememeber the days when I thought I was as rested as I could ever be…bring on that baby! Well, how times have changed my friends. Because, this weekend Austen is going to Grammys and I, well, I am going to sleeeeeep. Bring on that wine, fluffy pillow, and uninterrupted showers!
Sometimes I feel guilty for needing a break but then my mom says awesome things to me like “you can only be her best mommy when you’re rested and happy”. And I want to kiss her on the face. Then I get kinda squishy thinking about how one day I can comfort Austen that way…and i love motherhood again! Ahhhhhh.